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  • When should I send my first letter?
    As soon as you’re ready. We recommend mailing it within a week of being matched to help keep the momentum going and give your partner something to look forward to.
  • What should I write about?
    Whatever feels right. You might want to introduce yourself (real name optional), share what drew you to the exchange, reflect on something meaningful, or ask thoughtful questions. Keep it honest and kind. If you’re not sure how to start, we include a few optional writing prompts in your welcome email.
  • Should I include my real name or address?
    Not unless you’re comfortable. Every participant is assigned a User ID, and all letters are routed through our PO Box. Just write your User ID clearly on the envelope and we’ll handle the rest.
  • Where do the letters go?
    All letters are mailed to our PO Box. From there, we check the User ID and forward the letter to your match. This helps protect your privacy while keeping everything organized.
  • Is this monitored?
    No. We don’t read or monitor the letters. This is a trust-based exchange designed for personal connection, not moderation. That said, if any issues come up, we’re here and will step in if needed.
  • What if I feel uncomfortable?
    You can pause or end the exchange at any time, no explanation required. Just contact us and we’ll take care of it quietly.
  • How often should I write?
    That depends on the preferences you and your match selected (monthly, weekly, etc.). You’re welcome to write more often as long as it feels mutual and respectful.
  • What if I don’t hear back?
    If it’s been four to six weeks with no response, let us know. We’ll check in with your match and, if needed, offer to pair you with someone new.
  • Can I be paired with someone else later?
    Yes. Once your first exchange wraps up, you’re welcome to rejoin the pool whenever you’re ready.
  • Can I request a match based on gender or background?
    Yes. Our form allows you to share any preferences you’d like us to consider. While we can’t always guarantee a perfect match right away, we’ll do our best — and we’ll let you know if we need more time or flexibility to match you.
  • What are the rules or terms?
    By participating, you agree to treat your match with respect, keep things appropriate, and take full responsibility for what you send. Handwritten Exchange is not responsible for the content of letters or the outcome of any correspondence. You can read more in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use, which explain how your information is used and what to expect from the exchange.
  • How do I opt out?
    Just email us at info@handwrittenexchange.com and we’ll remove you from the pool. If you’ve already been matched, we’ll inform your partner and offer them a new match.
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